20 Questions

My whirlwind month has flooded my inbox with questions from friends and acquaintances wanting to know more about this guy I married.

Let me introduce you.

Question: How did we meet?

Answer: I met Steven through my friend Lisa (the same friend who took the photograph for my book cover.) Her husband and Steven went to high school together. She believed we would be a very good match. She was very right!

Question: How long have I known him?

Answer: Steven and I started dating in August of 2009 and he proposed on October 1, 2010.

Question: When did I know I wanted to marry him?

Answer: About 4 weeks after knowing Steven, I knew he was the kind of person I wanted to marry. He is easy-going, while hard-working. He is fun-loving while fiercly dedicated. And he is confidant, which compliments my reserved personality. I wanted to know him for at least a year before we made a stronger commitment. I wanted to see what he was like in each season, letting time be a test.

I remember after a year I told him, "You never annoy me. I never get bothered by having you around." Maybe an odd way to give a compliment, but after living alone as a single parent for five years, I wasn't sure about sharing space with someone again. I knew it would take the right person. Niether of us are perfect. We both do things that can be irritating. But, Steven is very fun to have around. He is that right person.

Question: How do his kids get along with my kids?

Answer: Our four children have a Brady-Bunch style about them. This morning Maddi came upstairs for breakfast beaming. I asked why she was so happy. "Today is the day I get to see Cajsa and Onie!" she said, as they split their time between our house and their mom's house. My kids cross-off the days on a calendar until we are all together, the way some kids countdown the days until Christmas.

Question: Is he handy? (Yes, someone asked me this).

Answer: I have a whole new definition of handy. Having someone stop to grab a gallon of milk on his way home is a luxury! Being able to run errands by myself while he watches the kids, is a treat.

Last night Steven set up a convertor box on our television. I have not had a functional T.V. in my home for over 5 years. Let me explain. When Shawn died, he had just finished our basement. The plan was to make the downstairs into a family room and hook up a nice entertainment system. That never happened. Two weeks from completing the project with the final step of laying carpet, the tragic accident occured.

I'm not a huge T.V. person to begin with, but after Shawn died, I no longer cared about family rooms or projects or being entertained.

But, last night I wanted to watch KARE 11, because my favorite priest and mentor, Father Reiser was named one of the 11 who KARE for 2011. Steven set up the T.V. just in time. He is more than handy, he shows he cares by doing his best to take care of me.

Question: How does he feel about the "Shawn Story" and your ministry to help other widows?

Answer: I always tell people that Steven is comfortable in his own skin. He knows who he is and what is important to him and what he wants out of life. He also recognizes the importance of honoring our past, both his and mine. He encourages me to help as much as I can. "People who are hurting need you…you have a gift to offer them," he has told me.

Several weeks ago he told me that when he doesn't know what to do or is struggling with something, he will talk to his dad who died when he was 24 or to Shawn and ask for some guidance. Referring to Shawn he said, "I feel like I have a friend I never met." I believe he does.

I didn't quite make it through 20 questions, but Steven has read my rough draft of this blog and said I've probably written enough…he doesn't want to bore anyone. I think he's a fascinating topic. And I'm looking forward to sharing more with you as our story unfolds.


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