A Lamp, A Lifeboat, A Ladder

“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. -Jalal ad-Din Rumi

I had coffee today with a dear friend and was reminded that in all of life’s struggles there is hope. This hope reminded me I wish I was writing every day. Writing is my passion. Still, I am flooded by life’s busy agendas (most of which are self-inflicted) and I race through the day trying to keep up with my kids, husband, extended family, events, appointments and so on. Life accelerates. I am no different than the rest. But, then sometimes I look at my children and think, how many more days do I have with you? I don’t want my days blurred. I want to be a lamp or lifeboat or ladder.

Jordan set up the game “Chutes and Ladders” last night and when I asked him who he was going to play with he pointed up and said, “Daddy.” He then preceded to play the game, which appeared to me like he was playing alone. In between moves with himself back and forth I would hear snippets of conversation, “Good move, Daddy…Way to go!…It’s okay, try again.” Was my son giving himself the encouragement he longs for from his dad? How did he come up with this idea; strategy for coping with grief? After the game he seemed so satisfied. I asked him who won. He said, “We tied.”

All I could think is how many more days do I have with you, Jordan? How many more days do I have to read to you, watch you play, eat meals together, and tuck you in at night? How many more days do I have to offer you my best? I want to be your lamp or lifeboat or ladder. I know our souls will heal.


This entry was posted in Children, Jennifer and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.