Getting ready to go exercise, wearing sweats, a t-shirt and exaggerating a twirl I ask my little angels, “How do I look?”
“Pretty!” says Madelynn.
“Handsome!” says Jordan.
Ah, my little ones…so good for the self image.
Jordan finds Shawn’s old cologne under the bathroom sink and asks if he can wear some. I spray his wrists and Maddi is soon by my side asking if she can have some too. Jordan tells her it’s only for guys. I say it is okay. Maddi takes the bottle from my hands and tells me I need some too.
The three of us sit on Jordan’s top bunk bed drenched in the smell of daddy.
What a handsome smell.
Jordan looks at me seriously, “If we died, we’d miss our life.” Then making the deduction asks, “Does dad miss our life?”
I ponder this, even though I know the answer–what I wonder is how my five year old can ask the same questions that haunt me when he should be thinking about trains and Lego’s and pirate ships. But, he is staring now…waiting for me to say something.
“Yes,” I give my honest opinion. “Yes…your dad misses every part of you and your sister.”
It seems this is a good answer because it produces a smile. And some extra sprays of cologne.
“We smell good today,” I tell my kids.
“Pretty!” says Madelynn, giggling.
“Handsome!” says Jordan with another smile.