Today Maddi and Jordan were fighting. I am at such a loss when they fight. I don’t know how to convince them that this is not the way we are to treat one another. One minute we are practicing how to say, “I’m sorry” and seconds later I hear the return of screaming or witness the vicious hair pulling. It seems like a constant battle for all of us to remedy.
Then there are the moments of self defiance and curiosity. Last week I found Maddi taking a knife over to a light socket. I raised my voice in warning, “Madelynn – DO NOT put that knife in the light socket. You could get very hurt. You could die doing that.”
Jordan paying close attention reasoned, “Mom, if Maddi died would she get to go see Daddy?” I froze in my discipline. Here I was threatening death to be something we should avoid, yet with my children I have told them numerous times that we will see daddy someday after we die and go to heaven.
My kids do not appear to be afraid of the word death. It is a common conversation in our household forced upon us to talk about. Obviously, our goal is to live as long as we are meant to and clearly it is my responsibility to keep my children safe. In it all, I am amazed at how perceptive they are to the world of words around them. It wakes me up to the language I choose to use.
Instead of fighting death, I need to continually grasp onto the idea that the entire reason we live is to one day die. It really isn’t a fight. It is the inevitable. So much to ponder. Stop the fight. Live well.
