We were at the YMCA the other day and Maddi ran into the boys bathroom. "I just wanted to try it," she told Jordan and I when she came out. I held my breath, thankful she was the only one in there. I have always felt bad that Jordan has to come in the women's bathroom with us when we are in public places. I didn't realize that Maddi is just as curious about the men's room. Curious about what it would be like if Daddy were here.
Jordan woke up this same morning telling me, "I dreamt about a kid four wheeler-transformer. Would you want one of those, Mom?"
"Sounds very cool, of course I'd want one," I said.
"I bet dad would want one,too," he told me.
I immediately agreed.
"I don't want just a mommy," he said, burying his head in my lap.
Our play therapist told me this week that my kids, at their ages of four and five, are entering the developmental stage of identifying with the same-sex parent. They want to relate. They want to follow a model. They want to feel a connection and in the absense of their father, they will work even harder to figure out how to identify.
We had homemade sausage pizza for supper tonight. I told them this was their dad's favorite. They beemed.