Galaxies revolve and dinosaurs breed and rain falls and people fall in love and uncles smoke cheap cigars and people lose their jobs and we all die – all for our good, the finished product, God’s work of art, the kingdom of heaven. There’s nothing outside heaven except hell. Earth is not outside heaven; it is heaven’s workshop, heaven’s womb. –Peter Kreeft
I keep having dreams about Shawn. Last night we were in Honduras. I was chasing after him. He seemed unattainable. I woke up and pulled the covers over my head. I could have easily gotten up. I wasn’t tired anymore. Yet, if I stayed in bed I figured I could be closer to him. He visits me when I sleep. He disappears when I am awake. And so the day begins.
I am consumed with the idea of heaven. I am fascinated to learn all I can. It marvels me that earth is temporary. I never understood that before like I do now. I used to fill my days consumed by little things in life. Weekend plans, what to make for dinner, fixing a broken gadget, creating to-do lists for both Shawn and I. Life isn’t like that for me anymore. I am buried deep in thought. I am buried in life’s sorrow. Sometimes I feel buried with Shawn. Thankfully, there are glimpses of time when rather than buried, I am covered by true joys and sheltered by unexplainable grace. My eyes see the extremities of life. My life feels extreme.
God, balance me. How can I balance life within heaven’s conception? How can I keep perspective? How can I contribute to life while setting my heart towards an eternal treasure? Can life and heaven work together? Lord, open my eyes to see what matters. Fix my eyes on heaven’s dawn.
