God’s heart is touched by passion.  God’s heart is touched by commitment. -The Purpose Driven Life

Now life is slowing down.  And my heart still aches.  Whether I am busy or quiet, Shawn isn’t here and I am not sure how to transition my life when he was my life.  Life without him is a whole new revelation of solitude.  After a year of living in confusion and utter disorder, I unfortunately am learning that the start of the second year after loss still holds unwanted commotion. 

In a much needed phone conversation, a good friend pointed out last night that it is possible to be in the midst of the will of God even when everything surrounding the situation seems to be in complete chaos. 

I feel this quiet chaos choking me and yet, I sense God in nearly every breath I take, resuscitating me.  Never before now have I better understood how God saves a soul.  Even in my despair I see how He revives, restores and rescues.  Does this strengthen my passion?  Maybe.  Does it reinforce my commitment?  Most definitely.  This is the delicate balance between living and survival. 

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