We are at a cabin this week with Shawn's side of the family. I will write more when we return. Packing is replacing my writing time! Madeynn packed soda crackers in four different lunch coolers to make sure we had a snack. She loves to help me get ready. I didn't have the heart to tell her we need to live off of more than just soda crackers for the week! Jordan wanted to pack sticks to roast marshmallows. I assured him the north woods would have plenty of sticks.
I wish Shawn could be going with us. I showed my kids photos of the last time we were there with daddy. The emptiness carves a cave in me. I'm excited to go with my children. And their excitement is radiant. Still all the hard work of packing, cooking, cleaning, loading the car, getting ready, planning, checking everything off the list loses a bit of luster when it feels lop-sided. Sharing life with my spouse filled me even when the work was long and tiring.
My kids fill me in a different way, one which I can't ignore. It may still be lots of work to prepare for our excursion, but the exuberance I gleam from them keeps me going. I love experiencing new things with them because at the ages of four and five everything is still so new. There is so much to explore.
So, I promise to let myself explore this week. To see old things in a new way.