One of the best things about being home from Ecuador is being in my home. When I stepped foot back into our house after returning from our trip, I felt the sensation of tears in my eyes. I was a bit surprised thinking I must be overly tired. I forced myself to take note that this was the first time since Shawn’s death that I was happy to be home.
I need to explain.
Over the past two years, I have definitely felt comfortable where we live. It is the place I prefer to be more than any other. At the same time it feels ghostly empty without my husband.
The marvel for me in coming home from our long extended trip and experiencing the point of tears upon our return was engaging for me. It was great to feel anything besides indifference. Normally, I walk through the day missing him wherever I happen to be. This time was different. This time I could honestly say it feels good to be here. Hence the tears. It feels good to finally, if for just a moment, feel good.