Vanish

“God wants you to have a Christ-like ministry on earth.  That means other people are going to find healing in your wounds.  Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.  The things you’re most embarrassed about, most ashamed of and most reluctant to share are the very tools God can use most powerfully to heal others.” –The Purpose Driven Life

Do you ever feel like a part of you is disappearing? 

In the beginning of my loss journey, I felt like I lost all of me.  But as more time passes, I feel like the little that was left is also leaving.  How can I lose what is already gone?  And I wonder when I may just completely fade away?

Last night, I felt the vanishing feelings most.  I don’t feel grounded.  And that is a suspicious, curious, wary feeling.  I keep telling myself that it’s because I am still fighting the “common cold.” 

One constant remains, besides my walk with God, that if I write about it, maybe someone else could find a connection.  A connection means healing to me.

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