Shawn would be 34 today. And I would be in love with him.
March 7, 1973 marks the date his life story began without any fear of his life story ending. Birth brings hope. Birth brings dreams. Birth brings unspoken expectations for life lived long. Birth should not appear in the same sentence as death. This is our very human idealistic wish. Today is his birthday and death abides. Life doesn’t always follow a decree of wants.
If only I could erase the waves I’ve ridden in the last year and a half, I would welcome back his life without wavering. I would return death in a heartbeat. I would kindly say, “I am done with you. Give me back my best friend.” I would celebrate another year together rather than apart. I would count out all the candles. I would give him all the love I am capable of expressing.
These are my birthday wishes.