I can not seem to wrap my brain around this. I am not doing well. I do not feel like I am surviving. Life as I knew it has ended. Now I am waiting for life to really end.
There is little left that I have to give. Today I felt as though I was suffocating. It was a bad, low, all-consuming, overpowering type of day. The panic started to set in. This is darkness. This is too much for me. Shawn died instantly, I am dying slowly. This is such a desperate state.
Where do I go to find salvation from this fierce strangulation? My lifeline has disappeared. He didn’t want to leave me. He was taken. I didn’t realize until now that we breathed the same air. Now that he is gone, I feel like a scuba diver running out of oxygen spiraling close to empty. I am breathing in extremely less than what I normally require.