“Courageous – that’s how you see me; successful – that’s how you believe in me; happy – that’s what you expect of me; but…emptiness – that is what is inside of me.” –Unknown

I can’t explain it.  For two years I have been searching for the words to put my world back in order only to find many of my days still end up unraveled.  Two years without him…going on three.  And I want to work harder to find a way back to him. 

How can one continue on when their heart screams for the opposite of what they have?  How can one be content in loss?  How does life piece back together?  I am so restless since he died.  Nothing satisfies. 

“Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there.” –Eric Hoffer

I wonder if I am hiding.  I wonder if I am running.

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” – Unknown

Grieving involves many walls.  There are those that go up and those that come down – within such confusion the walls often crash causing greater catastrophe.  Emptiness is one of the results of walls colliding on the inside. 

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