I found an old note with a jotted list. It must have been from a night I was feeling particularly
overwhelmed. It was titled: Evening Routine Motions:
- Brushing Teeth
- Bathroom check (potty!)
- Bear Hugs and Kisses
Scribbled with questions the end of the list read:
I made it through. What is my reward? Where is
he? Shouldn’t he come in at some point
to offer some type of diversion? Break
up the day? Separate day from
night? To come home and say “good job,
I’ll take over”. Oh, God! Don’t’ let me start a
new day again without him.
He was my energy booster. Now I work on new lists that boost my energy and fill me back up. Writing, elliptical machines, dark chocolate,
a hot bath, changing my hair style, talking with a good friend about everything
and nothing. They are not my favorite options in comparison to him. Yet, all the same they are options and in order to continue I need to take part in the best options left before me.