Instrumental Grief

My counselor told me today that there are two types of grief: emotive and instrumental.  Emotive grief takes an individual approach to the healing process.  An instrumental style of grieving seeks to find meaning in the loss through action.  Instrumental grief works through the pain by moving the energy.  Without question, I know my current method in the grieving process is the instrumental style.  I need to be involved with my grief.  I think this is why planning the September events in honor of the one year anniversary of Shawn’s death is crucial for me.  I need to play an active part to the significance one year holds.

The BE HERE NOW dinner being held at the Hilton on September 10th is a “tribute to the living”.  I envision that the evening will be an amazing opportunity focused on purpose and potential.  It takes a very tragic situation and works to find the good.  This is about people.  People coming together as a community to be a part of something beautiful and witness the potential their own life holds. 

I am passionate about this event.  I am devoting everything inside of me to be a part of something greater than myself.  I am committed to live the life I was designed to live.  My greatest hope is that those who attend the dinner will find a hidden treasure; a truth that helps them recognize their life contributes amazingly to a grander purpose.   

Often I feel like my grief is inconsolable.  It feels like something I will grow familiar with over time, but never be able to erase; something I may get used to but never forget.  This is a lot to accept.  Pain lessening is not pain eliminated.  Now life takes on new meaning, new insights, new realizations, a new appearance.  It makes sense to me that the only way to make it through is to find something powerfully instrumental to grasp onto until meaning can be found or ultimately created.

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