Where am I?  I am not with the living and I am not with the dead.  I never knew there was an in-between place of existence.  It is not a place where one would ever wish to go. 

Tonight I finished the book “The Year of Magical Thinking” by Joan Didion.  I felt at many times, while reading her story, that I was actually reviewing my own private journal.  I found myself connecting with many of her reflections.  This evening I am linked to her idea of invisibility.  She profoundly writes, “I myself felt invisible for a period of time, incorporeal.  I seemed to have crossed one of those legendary rivers that divide the living from the dead.”

I feel myself slipping.  It is a gradual type of fall; unlike slipping on a sheet of ice, yet comparable in that I brace myself, hoping to catch myself before I hit the bottom.  I struggle to remain in the land of the living.  It takes all of my energy, resolution and numerous attempts to get up, start the day, locate a purpose and find the good.

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