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I am not myself today.  I am overly emotional.  I am newly unreliable.  I am illogical.  I am not thinking sensibly.  I am unable to concentrate for much more than a sentence or two.  I am easily confused.  I am recently discouraged.  I am exhausted.  And I feel like I am very far behind.  I can’t seem to catch up.  My mind won’t turn off. 

Start over.  I don’t want to be stuck.  Start over.  Go forward.  Find peace somewhere.  Anywhere.  Find something that will take the hurt away.  Take the hurt for just one day.  I need just one pain-free day.   

My writing isn’t even intelligible tonight.  It slurs together.  Life is slurring together.  One long complicated mess.  One short “life-as-we-knew-it-is-over” story.  This is the darker side of grief. 

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