Could I hold you up like this? If the tables were turned, could I give without expecting in return? If a stranger experienced severe loss, could I give until it hurt? Would I be willing to offer anything to make them feel better? Could I offer any sort of comfort?
I am nervous for this to happen to someone else for a variety of reasons. I can’t imagine this pain being duplicated in our world. Pain like this should never happen more than once. Yet, I know that it happens daily. My eyes have been opened wide to this truth. And when it happens again, I am scared that I won’t have anything to give. I have been told that this happened to me to help the next person. What if I am not of any help? What if I lose inspiration and only have sadness to offer? What if I am stuck and can’t move forward, let alone move in any direction to offer my heart and hand?
I am surrounded by a gentle army of undeniably, selfless people who are giving me everything to hold my wound together so that it won’t split deeper. Maybe those who are guarding me so well would be kind enough to help the next person should it occur. Maybe they will stand like a concerned armed force in my absence, until I find myself again, until I am able to grasp the full and total idea of compassion…giving more than I have. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Maybe I did give completely when I was asked to share Shawn without ever expecting him to return.