I can’t find anything that satisfies. Often throughout any given day, I will hear myself mumbling, “nothing satisfies”. I seem to search for satisfaction in food, only to be highly disappointed when the cookie was too sweet, the chips were too salty, the pop was too carbonated, the casserole was too creamy, and the meat was too bland. Nothing satisfies. Today I opened a box of chocolates that I had received for Christmas. There were nine different varieties. I took a sample bite of each one, throwing the other half away (justifying that I only ate 4 ½ total pieces.). Nothing satisfied. I am surprised at myself that I am willing to admit my chocolate taste test. I feel like this is my confessional. Do I really want people to see my weaknesses? I guess I do. I want people to know that I am real. I am hurting. I am searching. I am far from perfect. I am not satisfied with the sudden turn of events in my life. Nothing satisfies. I think I really want people to know this.
I know without a doubt that I didn’t like the Rum Butter Caramel. The Hazelnut Bouquet and Toasted Coconut Cup tied. The Royal Almond Caramel Cluster was my favorite. I ate three of those without thought. Then I closed the box of chocolates and put it away in defeat. Even my favorite chocolate doesn’t satisfy.