Place A Bet

Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.  –Voltaire

I have entered a world beyond reason.  I stood in my kitchen last night sobbing for a good, solid 30 minutes.  I think it was more like gasping for air in between the flow of tears.  Repeatedly I cried, “Why you, Shawn.  Why you?  Why you?  Why you?” while staring at his handsome photo on our fridge. 

Does the mind play tricks or does it save intense interludes of grief for isolated moments when one can endure its forceful truth?  Shawn is gone.  This is true. Even when everything inside of me claims this fact is beyond reason.  How can he be here one day and not the next?  How? Why?  Since I cannot know, I will place a bet on trust.  Trust and faith seem like a reasonable pair. 

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