“A lot of people will try to talk you out of pursuing your dream. The world has too many people who are happy to discuss why something might not work, and too few who will cheer you on and say, ‘I’m there for you.’ If there is something out there that you want to do…don’t focus on the obstacles. Don’t ask for permission. Just dive in.” -John Wood
Shawn and I had many dreams. Stepping into December, the month of magical thinking, reminds me of our many ideas and grand imaginings. Changing dreams is easier said than done and sometimes the same interest or eagerness lessons when dreaming alone.
I still have dreams. I just feel a little shaky standing on my own and attempting my new endeavors. As I have written before, Shawn spoke confidence into me. More than his unspoken faith in me, he breathed reassurance around me. Regardless of my effort, win or fail, he was with me for the results. I liked being the other half of each other. There was much less pressure and much more willingness to risk.
Now when I think about pursuing dreams, I think sometimes I myself stand in the way of diving in more than anyone else. Often it is me who is trying to talk myself out of something. Why reach out to a future owned by the unknown? I am much more fragile since he died and a bit less secure. The emotions go up and down.
Maybe without Shawn I am waiting for someone to give me permission to not only follow, but chase after the dreams I still hold. Maybe within all my hesitations, the permission in the end must also come from me. A voice inside to encourage and say, ‘Let go of the obstacles. Press on’.