I am fighting between head knowledge and heart knowledge. I wonder who will win. Strength has pressed his way to the summit of who I thought I was and Grace has made room for him. Is it a prerequisite for those who grieve to automatically become stronger? Oddly enough, I feel great fortitude covering me, but I know that I am not its source. For my battle leaves me weak and falling by the end of each day.
I heard a song this week titled “Rewrite this Tragedy” by Sara Groves. The chorus was for me, “I’m here to re-write this tragedy one line at a time; hold on I’m changing all the scenery – It’s ok, we’ll be fine” Nothing could be truer. I daily come with pen in hand to find the good in my tragedy. If not the good, at least the challenge to become better. If not the better, at least a piece of hope – if hope still exists.
The scenery of my life has completely been rearranged. Here is the head and the heart again. I know that I’ll be fine, but I never wanted to change my backdrop. I liked the view I had; it was a colorful scene with shades of many hues. It suited me. I know that I will make it, but what if I don’t want to make it with a script that has been rewritten?