I am fighting between head knowledge and heart knowledge.  I wonder who will win.  Strength has pressed his way to the summit of who I thought I was and Grace has made room for him.  Is it a prerequisite for those who grieve to automatically become stronger?  Oddly enough, I feel great fortitude covering me, but I know that I am not its source.  For my battle leaves me weak and falling by the end of each day. 

I heard a song this week titled “Rewrite this Tragedy” by Sara Groves.  The chorus was for me, “I’m here to re-write this tragedy one line at a time; hold on I’m changing all the scenery – It’s ok, we’ll be fine”  Nothing could be truer.  I daily come with pen in hand to find the good in my tragedy.  If not the good, at least the challenge to become better.  If not the better, at least a piece of hope – if hope still exists. 

The scenery of my life has completely been rearranged.  Here is the head and the heart again.  I know that I’ll be fine, but I never wanted to change my backdrop.  I liked the view I had; it was a colorful scene with shades of many hues.  It suited me.  I know that I will make it, but what if I don’t want to make it with a script that has been rewritten?

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