The Phenomenon Mile

Driving home tonight after running errands, I passed the accident site.  I wonder how many times I have passed it since Shawn died.  I always blow a kiss when I drive by and each time I experience an array of emotion. 

Often I find myself whispering, “I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry, Shawn.  I’m so sorry this happened to you.  I’m so very sorry you had to endure this trauma…that you had to go through this…I’m sorry this is how your life ended…”  My voice trails with my head shaking in numb discord followed by another layer of disbelief.  I call it the phenomenon mile; the distance where I reenter life completely halted, forever turned around and am stuck stone still until I drive far enough away.   

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