Today I danced. Nobody was in the house. I turned up the music. Nobody was watching. I danced. I imagined Shawn dancing on the other side of heaven. His dance was rhythmic. My dance was calm. Both dances blended. Both connected. Both complimented. I could see his shape outlined in my mind wishing I could step over into his new world. I feel left behind. But, I can still dance. Music can still move me. I wrote a song last night. I have played it 36 times (I am guessing). Is this part of finding “normal” again? Four months. Seventeen days. That is what it took to dance. One day less is what it took to write a song. I have been told that time makes it easier. I wonder how many months plus how many days will pass before I say this is easy.
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