Battle of Grief

But he had to fight against the deep down current every day. -Michael Gates Gill

In his book, How Starbucks Saved My Life, Mike Gill talks about the depression his father fought his entire life long having lost his own mother to a year long battle with cancer when he was only seven years old. It was a life tragedy that caused his dad constant pain. His dad lived with a fear of losing his mind and worked daily through mindful efforts to stay optimistic, eventually becoming a talented writer for The New Yorker.  His strategy was to engage with life instead of be drowned by it. 

I immediately connect to Gills dad. I find that grief is a life-long battle. There are days when I still feel overcome by the worlds sadness. And my sadness has changed over the years. It isn't only that my husband was killed, I find myself sad this week at the news that a friend's sister committed suicide, that an acquaintance's marriage is over, that a blog reader's little boy died of an asthma attack. Life has a dark side that is beyond comprehension.

Indeed, it is a daily fight. Get up. Keep moving. Find the good. Rejoice in the little things.

The someone I am dating came over today to put grass seed on patches of my lawn where the winter plows did their damage. My kids emptied the dishwasher for me on Mother's Day without any complaints. I ran three miles today (breathless, but legs working). I am up. I am moving. The day is good. I fight to see the good day. I don't want to miss it. I will rejoice in the little things. This is how the battle is won.


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