“When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it’s bottomless, that it doesn’t have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.” -Pema Chodron
The mind has many ways of remembering. We tend to see things happier, kinder, cleaner, softer. But, we don’t always see things clearer. Memories fade and we miss what we can’t see. Then there are times when our memory completely surprises us.
On Friday, September 6th clear, crisp memories came flooding back to me in a hurry. What seemed to be a different lifetime suddenly connected my timeline of now with then into one smooth story.
The Coon Rapids Cardinals payed tribute to Shawn at their first home game of the season. A game played on the date that marked the 8th anniversary of Shawn’s death.
It was the energy and enthusiasm of a high school football game that took me back to the sidelines of the field when I was a Junior. Shawn played defensive lineman for the Coon Rapids Cardinals. Strong and confident, with blond curls and a large smile. He wore red and white. Number thirty. I wore his jersey during school pep fests. He was outgoing, I was shy.
Mostly I remember how happy I was to know him.
Now 20 years later standing on the sidelines of the same field, wearing red and white, watching young men play with confidence, the photographs in my mind are vivid. I know it’s a gift to be able to remember in pictures. A gift that may only come when you are flung back into a moment so real and vibrant and inviting. A moment where I felt the very same thing I had so long ago and remembered how happy I was to know him.
To see what I saw, please watch this touching tribute clip filmed by KSTP Ch. 5 News.